coinstarSo I saw the Coinstar machine at the grocery and my first response, as usual, was, “Who the hell puts change into a machine that takes 15% just for counting it?” I guess if you were an illegal immigrant and couldn’t open a  bank account then it might make sense, but other than that it doesn’t show great financial acumen. Even more perplexing was the “Don’t put dirty money in the change machine!” handwritten sign taped to it. What does that mean? ill-gotten wealth? But what crime causes a criminal to end up with bucketfuls of change? Small-time crack dealing? Parking meter theft? If it means dirty as in unclean, then how do you judge whether your change qualifies? Clumps of dirt might cause the machine problems, but how can pennies with fingerprints and other gunk harm a high-tech counter? And do they really think the person who brings his or her change to the grocery store to abandon 15% of it in exchange for not having to count it is going to read the sign and then not dump the quarters in because of their impure state?

These are the pointless thoughts I’m forced into when the 98-year-old lady in line in front of me suddenly decides she needs a carton of Pall Malls and is then thoroughly (but in a time consuming manner) perplexed that they now come in a thoroughly un-Pall Mall-ish bright orange color.